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If you eat Skittles fast enough, fitbit thinks you're running.
5 days, 19 hours ago
Twitter for Android
82 Retweets 154 Likes
I will never forget that the President and the RNC endorsed a pedophile. Democrats, feel free to refer to them as t…
2 days, 7 hours ago
Twitter for iPhone
30 Retweets 208 Likes
Whatever! Doug Jones only won the Alabama Senate race because Roy Moore’s girlfriends were too young to vote!
2 days, 9 hours ago
121 Retweets 459 Likes
Roy Moore stepping away from politics to spend more time with his wife and your kids.
2 days, 10 hours ago
447 Retweets 1356 Likes
If one boy had come forward instead of nine girls, the @GOP would’ve dumped Roy Moore like a hot potato
3 days, 20 hours ago
455 Retweets 2834 Likes
I have never met sarah huckabee sanders in my entire life and yet somehow I still want to divorce her and take the kids
3 days, 17 hours ago
609 Retweets 4825 Likes
Just put a hooded sweatshirt on backwards and it's the best I've looked all week
4 days, 15 hours ago
7 Retweets 16 Likes
Every single day we need to talk about Mr. grab her by the pussy, sexual predator-in-chief @realDonaldTrump until h…
7 days, 15 hours ago
The Social Jukebox
1326 Retweets 1536 Likes
if you're ever lonely, just remember billions of people died before u, the space you're in is probably filled with…
7 days, 10 hours ago
Twitter Web Client
211 Retweets 905 Likes
Wouldn’t it be powerful if tomorrow the 33 US Senators who called on Al Franken to resign called a press conference…
7 days, 18 hours ago
37319 Retweets 110185 Likes
I’m going through a difficult time right now. Please respect my privacy while I post about it.
7 days, 20 hours ago
771 Retweets 1996 Likes
I'm old enough to remember when the Republican party was more outraged by grown men molesting teenage girls than wh…
9 days, 20 hours ago
737 Retweets 3586 Likes
Don’t let this one go down the memory hole:
The Republican Party is so hungry for power that they’ve fully embrac…
9 days, 19 hours ago
20425 Retweets 51035 Likes
Mueller's investigation: $3,200,000+
Benghazi committee: $7,000,000+
Trump's golfing trips: $83,000,000+
9 days, 21 hours ago
50250 Retweets 103252 Likes
Does anyone have a metal detector? I can't remember where I buried my metal detector.
10 days, 9 hours ago
18 Retweets 82 Likes
I know for a fact that Donald Trump has a very small penis.
Please retweet this enough that he can't help but respond.
10 days, 14 hours ago
56877 Retweets 68980 Likes
Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.
11 days, 9 hours ago
192 Retweets 581 Likes
The FBI is in “tatters”? No. The only thing in tatters is the President’s respect for the rule of law. The dedica…
11 days, 11 hours ago
82596 Retweets 257112 Likes
I hope they let @realDonaldTrump keep his phone in prison. I’d love to read those tweets.
1632 Retweets 12665 Likes
The President benefitted from a foreign power’s intervention in our election. Then, his team secretly conspired wit…
12 days, 7 hours ago
14823 Retweets 39323 Likes